Dead flies....

Someone with great imagination,

a ton of dead flies,

and a boring job

draws these to entertain bored
little kids like us!

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE
than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people
who say they are giving more
than 100%?

We have all been in situations
where someone wants you to

GIVE OVER 100%...
How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical

formula that might help
answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N

O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E

1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of

God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge

will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God

that will put you over the top!

Maxine....you silly old bag!

A few funnies, but the last
one is my dad's favorite! :0)

Check their homework!!!

This is a note a teacher received. :0)

"Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now,
nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.

I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter
how hectic it was last week before the blizzard
hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel
we had, and then I found one more in the back
room, and that several people were fighting
over who would get it.

Her picture doesn't show me dancing around
a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last
snow shovel we had at Home Depot.

From now on I will remember to check her homework
more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

Men! :0)

TO Be 6 Again...

A man was sitting on the
edge of the bed, watching
his wife, who was looking
at herself in the mirror.
Since her birthday was
not far off he asked what
she'd like to have for her birthday.

'I'd like to be six again',
she replied, still looking
in the mirror .

On the morning of her
Birthday, he arose early,
made her a nice big bowl
of Lucky Charms, and
then took her to Six Flags
theme park. What a day!
He put her on every ride in
the park; the Death Slide,
the Wall of Fear, the Screaming
Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered
out of the theme park. Her head
was reeling and her stomach
felt upside down. He then took
her to a McDonald's where he
ordered her a Happy Meal with
extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie,
popcorn, a soda pop, and her
favorite candy, M&M's. What
a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with
her husband and collapsed
into bed exhausted.


He leaned over his wife with
a big smile and lovingly
asked, 'Well Dear, what was
it like being six again?'

Her eyes slowly opened and
her expression suddenly
changed. 'I meant my dress
size, you retard!!!!'

The moral of the story:
Even when a man is listening,
he is gonna get it wrong.

Short, but sweet!